10. Scientists discover that whiskey cures H1N1

9. Glenn Beck finally goes off the deep end and starts urging his following to wear foil helmets and worship frogs

8. Approximately 8 months of 2009 completely erased from my memory

7. A birthday with no drama, arrests or international incidents

6. My roommates doing dishes

5. Every bad local (and national for that matter) band quits and gets real jobs

4. Lots of money

3.Aliens

2. Lady Gaga puts her damn pants back on.

1. A continued lack of cigarettes in my mouth.